Tears of Social Justice Warriors
IVANKA TRUMP BUSINESS SAVVY
Entrepreneurial skills showcased
Photo: Ivanka collects the plentiful yet precious ingredient for Larmes de Gauche. Photo credit: Confederacy of Drones.
Now that Ivanka Trump's perfume has seen a sales explosion due to, of all things, retail outlets removing the brand from their shelves, Ms Trump has been looking to further incorporate irritated liberals in her business strategy.
Immediately following the election, major retailers decided that it is better for the county and their business if they didn't appear to in any way supportive of the new pro-business president. Retailers did not consider the fact that the vast majority of liberal women don't enjoy smelling pleasant, so any move related to perfume inventory would go unnoticed by this demographic. A recent poll indicated that the most popular scent for women who lean left was royal pine air freshener.
"These women are clearly not playing in the women's fragrance market, hell, they've barely cracked the deodorant and razor markets," said pollster Carlton Treat.
Despite the lack a interest in fragrances beyond what's immediately available from nature, Ms Trump has determined that these liberals can play an important role in production and marketing. She just announced a new women's fragrance she's calling Larmes de Gauche. Through keen business observations, Ms Trump found a perpetual supply of the key ingredient that will certainly outrage the left and make the sales of Larmes de Gauche the hottest Ivanka Trump product to date ... tears of liberals.
The volume produced is incredible," says Ms Trump. "The only downside is that it's hard to collect the flood of tears without being bitten."
Public Health Notice: All tears collected are painstakingly subjected to intense radiation to kill STDs and most common forms of microbes and fungus related to poor hygiene.
Red SquareBREAKING: Dozens injured at Ralph Lauren and Louis Vuitton headquarters after Ivanka calls in missile strikes on rival fashion houses.
Red, how is our beloved Store 86? Has this whore damaged it? My babushka likes the burlap sack skirt, newspaper shirt, and the dress made out of a used vodka barrel with no top or bottom and two leather straps to hold it up. I was saving up my ration stamps to get her some more as a May Day gift.
Comrade Stierlitz... to get [babushka] some [Store 86 apparel] as a May Day gift ...
Achtung, Comrade! I heard, May 1st will become All Fools' Day, Comrade Brain-in-Jar said so!
... oh ggg..
I mean, Vladimir Ilyich!
does that mean, this Ivanka fool will rain nuclear napalm arsenal also on May 1st?