People's Cube Ads


To create People's Cube Ads is an idea whose time has come. We've seen too many of them, all aimed at lining the pockets of greedy kapitalist Google masters.
We need to create ads that cost nothing and bring no profit. Volunteers needed NOW with no life or social skills to write ads for free and post them below as text.
Creative Directorate at the Propaganda Department shall take care of the rest.




BEING TRANSPORTED?
Pre-issued Gulag Survival Kits. Includes shovel, boots, vodka flask. Must barter for own vodka.
NEA APPROVED ART SUPPLIES
Fresh excrement delivered straight to your door! Also large selection of Judeo-Christian relics and tokens.




ASSORTED DNC RINGTONES
Includes Howard Dean's scream, Hillary's laugh. Free download with donation!


Adopt A Sponsored Ad
Adopt any People's Cube ad for mere pennies per click. Click here to sign up.


Find out! Click here to take a free quiz. Win a trip to meet other people just like you!
DNC TALKING POINTS IN ALL LANGUAGES
Great for public speeches, demonstrations, demands from hostage-takers, and newscasts on Al-Jazeera.


Lead Free direct import from China. One bundle per click.
(Surgeon Commissar Warning: Could cause carpal-tunnel in progressives)


Vintage Collectibles & Gifts
in the shadow of Guard Tower 7!
www.purgedworld.com
Fight Homosexuality Today
Photos, News & Expert Commentary On
Deviant Bashing. Help Make A Difference!
www.nohomoIran.org
Bill Clinton NoTell Motels
Book your hotel at Clinton
Online. Special offers and photos.
www.Motel-Browser.org
The last one was almost word for word a real one.

Reliable international franchise
available in your area.
1-800-HIZ-BLAH
Anti-Bush Stickers & Gear
Pre- Packaged Opinions, because
there's just not enough time to think for yourself.
FREE NPR MUG AND T SHIRT
With every 3 Hummers you torch.
EARN MONEY AND HELP THE ENVIRONMENT.
Make millions off a crappy slide show.then fly around the
world on a private Jet leaving a huge carbon footprint
and finally drown in you own hypocrisy.
HELP FEED THE HUNGRY.
Abort extra mouths before they are born.


Red Square
A variation on the above...
That one caused inspiration for mine, although not the same format, it is still worth mentioning:
Daily Kos
Have you had your morning cup of Sh**t today?


It’s easy, fast and free*! Sign up, submit an active address and meet other hot, subsidized idiots living in their mother’s basement! Text: PUNCHENKO to 6969 now OR register at Lonelylosers.scam!
*additional charges, surcharges, fees and other requirements may apply. Confidentiality not guaranteed. The Punchenko Foundation for a Richer Tomorrow is not responsible for personal information given to a third-party. The Punchenko Foundation for a Richer Tomorrow is not responsible for any monies lost, transferred, stolen or misplaced. Additional charge of $29.95 for first time, second time, third time and fourth time users will apply. All charges, surcharges, fees and other monetary requirements will be added to your phone bill and credit card accounts submitted at least several times an hour. User(s) will not be notified of billing. User(s) will be permitted ten minutes to cancel membership upon registration. Failure to cancel membership within ten minutes of registration will confirm your agreement of a ten year subscription for $456.99. Void where prohibited which is nowhere since the Party is running Congress now. You are a sucker. Additional sucker charge of $78.87 will apply upon registration.






I'll gladly give all I have to our MTE without seeing Mulva again.


Once again, for the record.... he is too good for you.


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These are real!
Beez




Chairman M. S. Punchenko
I'm afraid Mulva is too good for you, Comrade Pinkie.Chairman, I must confess my weakness yet again. Who is "Mulva?" Exhaustive research carried out at my own expense I might add, revealed 3 possibilities.... Mulva as the name of the Junior Mint gal from Seinfeld, a Mulva who headed a huge Big Oil company, and my most promising suspect, some Alva character at Nitwit Planet to which I found a link here.


Chairman M. S. Punchenko
I'm afraid Mulva is too good for you, Comrade Pinkie. You see, your prole sensibilities couldn't handle the international celebrity of Mulva or his parent's $400,000 Mini-Mansion. It just isn't you, Comrade Pinkie. I mean, he is such a celebrity he has the power - yes, the power - to turn down a man begging for a few dollars so that he, International Celebrity Mulva, can buy some hot Starbucks coffee and some tasty eats from Panera Bread. He is that *important*! Have you heard his music? It is absolutely visionary... NO!... it is divine, yes, it is art sent from the heavens above in the caring and compassionate arms of transgender angels. I must have soiled myself several times listening the harmonious screeching of Mulva and his band of noble progressives.Once again, for the record.... he is too good for you.
Ah, thank you for clearing that up for me, Chairman Meow. I always had the impression Mulva was interested in me only because I had HBO.
I should never have doubted you, esteemed Chairman! Here, take the rest of what I have for the Many Titted Empress--it's only a few kopecks I was saving to bribe the local commissar for a new shovel, but I think it's better spent on Her Excellency. I have faith that after she assumes power, she'll give me the new shovel, and Universal Free Vodka, too.


Twice as effective as Hsu-Be-Gone™. Click here.
- http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/200 ... w_goe.html


Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Meet other lonely subsidized idiots just like yourself!It’s easy, fast and free*! Sign up, submit an active address and meet other hot, subsidized idiots living in their mother’s basement! Text: PUNCHENKO to 6969 now OR register at Lonelylosers.scam!
*additional charges, surcharges, fees and other requirements may apply. Confidentiality not guaranteed. The Punchenko Foundation for a Richer Tomorrow is not responsible for personal information given to a third-party. The Punchenko Foundation for a Richer Tomorrow is not responsible for any monies lost, transferred, stolen or misplaced. Additional charge of $29.95 for first time, second time, third time and fourth time users will apply. All charges, surcharges, fees and other monetary requirements will be added to your phone bill and credit card accounts submitted at least several times an hour. User(s) will not be notified of billing. User(s) will be permitted ten minutes to cancel membership upon registration. Failure to cancel membership within ten minutes of registration will confirm your agreement of a ten year subscription for $456.99. Void where prohibited which is nowhere since the Party is running Congress now. You are a sucker. Additional sucker charge of $78.87 will apply upon registration.
I love the small print !!


The Gift that Keeps on Giving!
In Gift Train Car Box.
NutsOnTheNet.com/Ca$H$u


Commissar Pupovich
Chairman, I must confess my weakness yet again. Who is "Mulva?" Exhaustive research carried out at my own expense I might add, revealed 3 possibilities.... Mulva as the name of the Junior Mint gal from Seinfeld, a Mulva who headed a huge Big Oil company, and my most promising suspect, some Alva character at Nitwit Planet to which I found a link here.Commissar Pupovich, Nitwit's the one you're looking for. Mulva's 15 minutes at the Cube actually elapsed long before I was transported here, but on another thread, Comrade Hillary posted the link below. The comments are the icing on the cake.
http://nitwitplanet.blogspot.com/2006_1 ... chive.html
I notice if you go to Mulva's blog now, he insists on first approving any comments before posting them.
Honestly, some people just don't have a sense of humor. Or just plain sense, period.


Quote:
I notice if you go to Mulva's blog now, he insists on first approving any comments before posting them.Yeah...the Cube had the effect.
Notice all the goose eggs after we retaliated.
<sigh.....>
If we had ever know he'd just sulk and go back up to the attic of his parent's mini-mansion in Woodbridge and not blog, maybe the Party's harsh criticism wouldn't have been so harsh.

Laika the Space Dog
Quote:
I notice if you go to Mulva's blog now, he insists on first approving any comments before posting them.Yeah...the Cube had the effect.
Notice all the goose eggs after we retaliated.
<sigh.....>
If we had ever know he'd just sulk and go back up to the attic of his parent's mini-mansion in Woodbridge and not blog, maybe the Party's harsh criticism wouldn't have been so harsh.
Oleg,
A good tshirt idea inspired by Laika.
" Daily Kos
Democratic Underground....
GOT TINFOIL"



Pinkie
Commissar Pupovich, Nitwit's the one you're looking for. Mulva's 15 minutes at the Cube actually elapsed long before I was transported here, but on another thread, Comrade Hillary posted the link below. The comments are the icing on the cake.Yup, I read that, and he truly is a Nitwit. Still wonder, what was the thinking behind calling him Mulva? Or was that the name he used when he came here?


Commissar Pupovich
Yup, I read that, and he truly is a Nitwit. Still wonder, what was the thinking behind calling him Mulva? Or was that the name he used when he came here?I gathered that when addressing the man whose mother called him Alva, Chairman Meow, as always thinking of female body parts and what rhymes with them (though instead he claims the Seinfeld defense), slipped and called the guy Mulva. The name stuck as such names tend to do. Hell, I've been called everything from Stinkie to Twinkie to Tinkie-Winkie. Of course, the last thing people remember after doing that is the sight of my shovel slamming upside their head.






Have no fear, the Democrat Party will cast your vote for you.


Save Big on Global Warming Survival Kits!
Paddles, Ponchos and Bags of Ice for Incredibly Outrageous Prices!




Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Laika dubbed him Mulva, Comrades. I think a few of you - and I'm not saying any names here - need read up on your archives (Pinkie and Pupovich).Hm . . . I read the comments on that link, and could've sworn it was you, great Chairman. My humble apologies. I don't think the re-education center where I'm assigned is receiving enough public funding, hence my gaffe.
As for what happened at the Cube before I was transported here, well, naturally I had no idea what kind of information I was going to inherit, or what kind of information might be concealed from me, perhaps destroyed before I came here, or even smuggled out in the legs of someone's pants.
I do believe George W. Bush has lied to me AGAIN!




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FIRST 500 CALLERS GET FREE SAMPLE-SIZE PACKET OF "JUST FOR ALMOST MEN" HAIR TREATMENT!


Free Cremation w/Donation
Everything taken care of for you.
Closure for family within weeks.
lifequestanatomical.com


Flying Imam Class Action Lawsuit


Orenthal James P.I. Inc.
Great deals on quality investigations. Guaranteed results.


...ahem... what was I talking about...?


Thousands of assorted figurines
in various states of repair.
www.chairmancried.com



I know this doesn't fit the format for Cube Ads but I think it cries out to be a Cube Ad. I just can't decide on the rest of it. "click here for the New York Times editorials"? There is something that would make this gold, (or RED), but I can't put my finger on it.



General Secretary
HELP FEED THE HUNGRY.
Abort extra mouths before they are born.
Comerade you forgot best part!
HELP FEED HUNGRY.
Sleep with Party Elite at their command, THEN abort extra mouths before they are born.




Educate your neighbors about
the harmful effects that Global Warming
is having on Chinese waterfowl!


Help us save the trees and the planet
by recycling your used paper currency
(only USD accepted) at your local
DNC sponsored currency recycling center.


Red Square
Perhaps this video will steer your progressive thoughts away from thoughtcrimes and back to advertisements:Flying Imam Class Action Lawsuit
Mmmmm, I could tell him where he could fly....


The Five-Year Plan of creating selfless ads has been completed ahead of schedule within less than a week! This calls for a few Party announcements:
PARTY ANNOUNCEMENTS
1. This topic has been moved to People's Tools
2. A rotating random banner script has been implemented at the top of the right-hand column to host all of our existing ads
3. The number of ads has reached 29!
4. You can continue writing ads in the comments, preferably as text. We will occasionally create new banners to add to the ones being rotated.


Drivers needed for one-way deliveries
--Immediate Openings--
Apply Nearest Iranian Embassy


Apply for an internship at the DNC.
Fat, dirty, loud and stinky?
Blog for the DKos.
All the shit you can throw.


Ride the way Al Gore does to his environmental speeches.
You will convert to a Religion of peace.
...Or I'll have to kill you.




------------------------------------------
Turn Your Guns Into Sickles And Hammers
Forfeit them to MoveOn.org
------------------------------------------
We'll post it with the others when we have a new batch.


Spend the rest of your life clicking on ads to help websites!
(It’s not like you can do anything else)


No werd iss betar then ani othar werd. al werds guarenteed equl.
Hate Accountability?
Blame George Bush. Go ahead, the NY Times does it.
Katrina-survivors-on-Crack.org
The Navy Seals blew the the levy or was it the aliens. I forget.
Affirmative Action
Because Reverse Racism is okay.


With Keith Olberman.


Make it yourself your self Barbara Boxer Speech.
YouTerrorize
Upload and share online Fatwas, Jihad videos, and propaganda. Great for threatening infidels.


Harry Reid Says the War on The Economy is Lost.
Wants to send Wall Street home.


General Petraeus still alive and well. End of world is nigh.




http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=138





So I contradict myself? I am large.



Code:
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<area shape="rect" coords="2,157,119,168" href="http://www.cpusa.org/" target="_blank" title="CPUSA" alt="CPUSA" />
<area shape="rect" coords="2,111,94,135" href="http://www.alekhlaas.org/forum/" target="_blank" title="Islamist" alt="Islamist" />
<area shape="rect" coords="3,59,147,70" href="http://www.dailykos.com/" target="_blank" title="Daily Kos" alt="Daily Kos" />
</map>




Edit.... :-) Nice quick fix!




Navigator
Edit.... :-) Nice quick fix!
;-)



You have been warned.
-Mikhail
(P.S.: Great ads!!!)


I've heard the joke: What do you get if you put four guys with aids in a hot tub?
Answer: Soup!
But I didn't know it was real?
Here's another ;-)


"Then eat just the vegetables."

Affirmative-Action Applicants Needed
Al-Qaeda in Iraq seeks under-represented persons for work in crowded street markets! Women, children, the elederly, and those with mental handicaps given special preference.
See here for the inspiration:
http://abcnews.go.com/International/Wir ... 818&page=1








The only guilt free method when you absolutely, positively must get your biz jet from NY to LA to attend a Global Warming protest....and back again.


DEMAND equal temperatures for all seasons!
Call your representative today - make Congress do something.


Burn cars in France for college credit!
Up to three quarter hours awarded for each Peugeot.
Earn a master's degree in torching SUVs.
Find out more at your nearest mosque, madrassa, or Muslim seminary.